Scattered Heart
by Rukiabi
Summary: Leave me alone. I just wanted to be alone. Why are you following me? Let me stay in this darkness forever.. ..because you look so sad. I want to.. “Let’s find the missing pieces of your heart together.” Tyka
1. Falling

Scattered Heart Ch.1: Falling

Rukiabi: Oh man, I wrote this like three years ago. Please don't be mad at the horrible writing that is my immaturity. My first attempt at angst too. The reason I'm uploading this is because I'm trying to avoid working on my other chapters, and that a friend of mine really wanted to see this fic go somewhere.. err.. This fic won't be worked on much I don't think, just something to go back to when I'm tired of writing my other fics and need a break. Well, be horrified.

Disclaimer: All characters of Beyblade are © of Aoki Takao.

- - - - - - - - - -

Two crimson coloured eyes watched as a black BMW pulled up the driveway. A beautiful woman around her mid thirties stepped out of the car and pulled off her shades. She had crimson eyes as well. When the lady looked up towards the pair of crimson eyes staring down on her from behind a bedroom window, her eyes furrowed and her expression became a pitying one.

Mother.

Don't look at me that way.

I already know what you're going to say.

I hate it when you all look at me with your pitying eyes. Poor boy. He's all alone.

But even your eyes are not enough. I hear you fight. Fight with Father almost every night. Even the simplest disagreement throws you two off and starts another four hour battle.

I hate you.

I hate you too.

I hate you all!

Shatter.

The woman gasped after she saw an antique vase thrown into the bedroom window that she was staring through. Her son. The vase had shattered as soon as it touched the window, cracking the glass window as well from the powerful that it felt.

"Kai! What have you done? Do you notice how much this is all going to cost? That antique vase was an heirloom! And your bedroom window in cracked! What have you got to say for yourself?"

I'm not listening.

Here she is continuing her yelling and screaming about how my behaviour has been lately. It's not like she's not used to yelling and screaming at father. Or me.

My behaviours bad? Look at yourself. At least I don't have a secret affair with some total stranger, making out with them every chance I get behind my husband's back. Not that I am gay or anything. The reason you even go out with Ken is because you couldn't handle the fights that you and Father were going through. You couldn't handle how your heart broke every time he slapped you across the face. So you tried to find a way out. You tried to find some one else who would love you and please you and fulfill your sexual needs. You found Ken.

I'm amazed that Father hasn't found out yet. But you knew of course that if he knew, there wouldn't just be a bruise on your cheek. There would be many bruises.

"I can't believe it… I came up here in your room to find you like this… what is wrong with you?"

I don't know.

"Have you nothing to say?"

Nothing.

The woman continued to stare at her son, expecting an answer. Even a scoff would have been good. But lately, her son seemed to have become colder and darker. He hadn't talked to her, nor his father for weeks. Before, she had thought he was a shy boy. He always preferred to be alone and rarely talked. He never smiled nor made any friends. He was Kai.

But the darkness that was emanating from him now was just too much to bear.

The mother's eyes began to fill with pain. Soon the pain was overflowing from her eyes and she began to sob.

Why?

Why do I do this to her?

I don't mean to make her sad…

But—

She's crying.

She's been crying for a long time.

- - - - - - - - -

There they were, at it again.

I can hear their war through the walls and floors of my bedroom.

"Oh and you think you're so much better, you Bitch!"

"I hate you, I've Always HATED YOU!"

Slap.

I know. This is how it always seems to end. I can picture my mother lying broken on the ground, sobbing her hear out. My father, out on the back porch, smoking tobacco. It is always the same. A never-ending war with only pain at the end of each battle. There are no victories.

I lay here on my bed with one arm slung over my eyes. I want it to end. I am so sick of hearing that slap. My mother cry. The neighbours pitying eyes. My classmates jeers and mockery. Be quiet. Stop laughing. Stop crying—

"SHUT UP!"

I sat there on my bed thinking of how stupid and embarrassing it was for a fifteen year old to cry. Yes. I was crying. Problem?

Knock knock.

"K-Kai?"

I turned towards my bedroom door.

"It's your mother…"

Who else could it be?

"Are you alright? I thought I heard some sort of shout coming from your bedroom."

Yeah, and I heard some sort of shout coming from downstairs. Actually, a lot of shouts between you and Father.

"Kai… there's something I need to tell you. May I come in?"

I got off my bed and padded across the carpet to my bedroom door. My hand was on the knob. Should I let her in? Am I brave enough to face her tears?

I turned the knob… to stare blankly into her red, puffy eyes.

"Kai, there's something we must discuss." She said once again. Her voice cracked at the end of the sentence.

She walked past me and sat down upon the same bed that I had just cried on.

"Kai. I—I mean, your father and I, we have been fighting lately…"

Oh that was surprising. I could only hear it all the time.

"…and we've come to a conclusion that, we don't love each other anymore."

And there she lay, crying into her hands and hiccupping from her sobs.

"Oh god I am so sorry but--" she looked up into my widening eyes. "—we are getting a divorce!"

"…no…"

Keep on running.

"…no.."

Don't stop running.

"NOOO!"

I ran.

I ran down the stairs, smack into my father's chest.

"Kai.." he said. He stared down upon me with those pitying grey eyes again.

"NO! STOP IT!"

Stop looking at me that way. Stop yelling. Stop crying. Just stop it!

I ran again and I couldn't stop running. It had even started raining. I was practically sprinting through the streets, ignoring the shouts of people who I had hit into in my desperate escape.

_"What is wrong with you?"_

I don't know, but I wish I knew.

_"I hate you, I've Always HATED YOU!"_

Slap.

You didn't always hate him, did you?

_"Oh God I am so sorry but—we are getting a divorce!"_

Why are you sorry? Why are you sorry if you want this divorce?

"Hey kid, watch out!"

I wasn't quick enough to notice the descending subway stairs in front of me. I was falling. And it was like time had slowed down for a split second. I was flying.

_"Heh, it's that loner kid, whatshisname, Kai?"_

_"Oh, he's that guy who doesn't talk at all."_

_"What is he mute?"_

_"Oh I bet he must think that he is too good for everybody to talk to them."_

_"Yeah, I bet that's it. Ha ha ha ha…"_

The tiled ground came speeding up to me until all that I could see after that split second—

--was Darkness.

The End.

- - - - - - - - - -

(just kidding. There's more, I swear!)

Rukiabi: I wrote this fic the first time in my notebook hehe. Its original title is "The Missing Piece Of Myself" but I decided to change it here. This title will make so much more sense later. Well, Ja ne(later)!


	2. Clouds

Scattered Heart Ch.2: Clouds

Rukiabi: Yippee! I can't believe it! We made it so far already! …nande? It's only the second chapter you say? Well, I'm quite surprised I even made it to the second chapter. I'm still writing this, nee? But a problem that just came up you see is, my writing style has changed from three years ago, not to mention I'm not quite sure how I even managed to write the first chapter in such a weird point of view… actually, I might have been a better writer when I was in grade nine than now haha. Be horrified once again.

Disclaimer: All characters of Beyblade are © of Aoki Takao.

- - - - - - - -

_Shhhhh….._

_Sleep…_

_Can you feel that?_

_Soft isn't it?_

_They say that his heart flew away and left these feathers behind…_

_Kai?_

_Kai…?_

_Kai…_

Am..

Am I…?

A split of light appeared in the middle of the darkness, widening slowly in an oval shape. The oval flickered but widened fully to reveal— a bright blue colour.

"Am I dead…?"

"Nope, not dead. Maybe a little brain damaged but definitely not dead."

Two crimson coloured eyes stared into two midnight coloured ones.

"W-what?"

I sat up like a slingshot in my surprise. Where am I?

Everywhere I looked was all blue sky and clouds. Underneath me as well. The air was cool and the light was bright. I was sitting upright on a huge giant cloud with a total stranger beside me. Who is this person?

"Hoh, yeah…" The stranger said as his gaze followed mine. When I looked up, he looked up. When I looked to the right, he looked to his left, which was my right. And when I looked down—

"You're sure a strange person."

I looked straight at the boy who was now sitting in front of me and got a full view of what he looked like. He had midnight blue eyes with the same colour hair, and lightly tanned skin covered by some white sheets tied together making his outfit look sort of like a toga.

"Who are you? No.. more importantly, how did I get here? Why… am I…"

"From the sky." The boy pointed up.

"Huh?"

"I was lying here watching the clouds like I usually do when all of a sudden, the clouds parted in a circle and a long golden beam of light shone down from the heavens. You were floating down that beam of light and I caught you."

"That's… not possible. This must be a dream." I held my face in a hand. This couldn't be anything other than a dream. And after this dream, I would go back to reality. Reality. Where the only alarm clock you have to remind you to go to school, is the dry sobs of your mother in the morning.

"What are you thinking?"

What? Oh.. I forgot about that guy.

"Who-"

"Takao. My name is Takao."

"Oh…" I looked away.

"Hmm? You're not going to introduce yourself to me?"

I don't… feel like it. Besides, you're just a dream and we'll never see each other again.

"Hey, that's really mean to ignore somebody, especially a somebody who just saved you from falling into the pointy tips of the wooded pine trees below."

I got up and began walking away from the annoying chatter from the boy behind me. I could walk on the cloud too. Every step felt like walking on cotton, transparent cotton.

"Hey, wait a second!" He floated in front of me.

My eyes widened at what I saw in front of me. "What? How are you doing that?"

"Huh?" He looked down at where I was staring. His feet weren't touching the ground-- or clouds or whatever and he was just… floating there. No. Wait. What was I thinking? He's just a dream. I person I made up in my mind. He's not real. And I shook my head before pushing him aside and kept on walking straight.

"Ah, wait, if you keep on going straight you're bound to--"

"Ahhh!" I yelled in surprise when I reached the edge of the cloud and found nowhere else to go except down.

"Got'cha!" The boy called Takao caught a hold of my arm before I could fall. I looked down. Why did the world below the clouds seem so much more real than it should? Do all dreams look and feel this real?

"Ah! Let go of me!" I tried to struggle from his grasp. He was touching me.

"If I let you go, you're going to fall!" We floated back over the large patch of cloud that I had woken up on before and he let me down. He was still holding onto my hand.

"Let me go." I pulled my arm out of his hold roughly. This was really stupid. I was stuck on a giant cloud with nowhere else to go, stuck with somesuper boywearing bed sheets. When will this dream end?

I held my head in my hands. "Ugh, why am I here!"

The blue haired boy just floated to the side and stared at me. His voice was soft. "Maybe I could help you..."

When I looked up into his eyes, I noticed that there was almost a sparkle in his irises. A sparkle of kindness. A kindness I didn't want.

"I don't need your help."A kindness I didn't need.

"But--" A kindness I couldn't take.

"Just leave me alone!" I shouted back at him. What was his problem? Why was he still talking to me? Didn't he get it? I don't want him around! And yet he was still there. He was still looking at me with those eyes as if he knew something about me. He knows nothing about me!

There's something deeply wrong with my dream. I want to wake up now.

The boy looked back at me with a confused look. He raised his right arm and reached for me..

"Ouch!" My hand went to my cheek. He pinched me. He not only touched me, but he pinched me. "What was that for!"

But he smiled back at me instead of looking sorry for what he did. "You're not dreaming. And you're real."

My eyes widened at what he said just then. I'm not… dreaming?

He began floating in a circle around me. "And what's even more important is that you can feel pain. A physical pain. It shows that you're alive."

He was now behind me. "Your pain on the outside… is it the same as the pain on the inside?"

Gasp. What?

He was now in front of me again. Smiling still, "While you were falling down that tube of light, there were feathers coming out of your chest."

Feathers?

"Many red feathers. They came out of your chest and the Compass Winds carried them away. They must be scattered all across the lands now." He emphasized this by widening his arms above his head and looking up to the sky.

"Why should I care?" I closed my eyes. It didn't matter. Red feathers coming out of my chest? Please. That meant nothing to me.

"Maybe if we found all of them, you'll be able to find out why you came to this world."

"I don't care about that."

"Oh? Then, what are you going to do now?"

What AM I going to do now? I'm stuck in this whole other dimension where I can stand on clouds and not fall and where flying people exist. And what that guy had said was true… I can feel pain. But, maybe it was possible to feel pain in dreams too! Maybe I'm dreaming that the pain is real…

_"Your pain on the outside… is it the same as the pain on the inside?"_

Of course not. This is… a dream?

I couldn't help but look up the wide expanse of sky blue above me. It looked like it went on forever…

_"Maybe I could help you..."_

Maybe… I'm not…

"Get me off this thing…"

"Huh?" The blue eyed boy named Takao blinked at me.

"I said—get me off this thing, this… cloud."

"Ho? You want my help now?" He sounded excited. "But I can't help you unless you say 'Please', I mean, that's only fair."

God… I sighed. I spoke through my teeth. "Please."

His eyes lit up with a joy that I couldn't explain or even comprehend.

"He he…"

He took my hand in both of his own.

"Ah—wait a second!"

He was touching me.

"Come on!" He said as he pulled me towards the edge of the cloud.

He was touching me with warm hands.

"Let's—" We were at the edge of the cloud now.

"Ah no!" I cried. I'll fall.

"—Go!" I was over the edge. I was floating in mid air with nothing to stop me from falling.

With clouds all around me and blue sky. We began falling.

I was flying once again.

- - - - - - - - -

Rukiabi: I swear I'm not copying Tsubasa. This plot came to me before I had even read the manga. But now that I'm writing it, I can't help but see the similarities between CLAMPs world and mine. (Sigh) I hate when something like this happens. This is the reason why I'm trying to avoid reading fan fiction nowadays. I'm afraid that I'll read up a fic that has the same plot ideas as mine and then I'll lose inspiration to continue that story. I wonder if that this has ever happened to anyone?


	3. Woods

Scattered Heart Ch.3: Woods

Rukiabi: Sorry for the extremely late update. I promise to have Syndicate Ch.4 done soon as well. My writing gets a little poor after the first half of this chappy. Sorries once again.

Disclaimer: All characters of Beyblade are © of Aoki Takao.

- - - - - - - - -

"Kai… sweety," She pleaded to me desperately with hopeful and watering eyes. "Come here."

Tears streaked down the side of her sunken cheeks as she raised out her arms, hands reaching for me. Even though her eyes were red rimmed from crying so much, they seemed even wider than usual. Her smiles wavered between comfort and delirium. I didn't want to go to her. I didn't want to be in her embrace, but she was so sad. She was crying. She was seeking me for a comfort I honestly couldn't give her; no matter how tightly she squeezed me into her bosom, those tears would continue to fall. But this mother hugged me anyway and I was pulled in by her desperate claws.

"That's right honey… I love you."

But I don't… feel that way for you. I don't want to be here. Here in your arms, it feels so wrong and so cold. There isn't any warmth here. I pulled out of her chest and backed away with hesitating steps.

"Wait Kai, where are you going?"

Not there and not with you.

"Why are you running away from me?"

You're the one chasing me.

"I love you!"

You're scaring me…

"I've done everything for you! I raised you; I gave birth to you!"

'_No, stop it._' I said in mute. This is a dream. It cannot be real. My real mother, was she always this sad?

"You owe me with your life."

- - - - - - - - -

My eyes shot open before I was even aware that I was awake. Her gruesome melting face was etched into the underside of my eyelids. Why did it have to be her?

'_Kai… there's something I need to tell you. May I come in?'_

Why did I have to dream about her? It had been like as if I had never left her there broken on my bed; I never ran away. And instead, it was a foretelling of the future if I hadn't left. If I had stayed, would my mother have turned to me with love endeavoring eyes just like in my dream?

"You're awake! Are you alright? You kind of fainted while we were coming down…"

A blue eyed wonder leaned over me with a worried expression. I've seen that boy in a previous dream where I had been flying through the clouds… It was a dream I was still in.

I sat up, forcing the boy named Takao to move a few inches away from me in order to give me room to breath.

"Why am I here?"

Takao cocked his head curiously to the side. "Huh?"

"Forget it." Getting up, I brushed dirt and woodchips off my jeans and took a better look at my situation. It's obvious now that there's no way for me to get out of this world just by asking questions. I felt like mouthing _'No one will help me; I can only help myself'_ until I felt a warm hand on my wrist.

"Where are you going?"

I really didn't feel like saying anything but I suppose he deserved an obvious answer. "Out of these woods."

"You don't want to stick together?"

And how would that help me? My life was probably put into more danger just being around that guy during the last few minutes or hours or… in fact I don't even know how long it's been since I became induced in this dream state. But I don't plan on staying here any longer, not around this _warmth_.

"Let go of me."

His hand lingered around my wrist for a few more seconds before letting go at last. I took a step but felt something wrapped around my other foot, stopping me from completing another step.

"I said Let Go of ME!"

But when I turned around to give the wonder boy my pissed-off expression, I could only stare blankly for he hadn't moved from his kneeling position. I looked down at my feet and noticed a thick green vine tightening its grip around my ankle.

"What the…?"

The vine began to spiral up my leg and more vines appeared out of the ground, crawling up my body. "What is this?"

Takao yelped as he barely flew out of grasp of a couple of vines attempting to entangle him within their malleable prison.

I tried struggling against the vines grasp but it was futile as I felt myself being raised into the air and pulled closer and closer to the branches of a nearby tree.

"Hey, let go of him!" Takao flew up beside me and pulled at the vines gripping me but then some more vines came up behind him and wrapped around his waist and legs; where his hands had tried to free me were being encircled in vines as well.

"What's… going on?" I struggled as the vines tightened around us further.

"What's going on indeed?" From across us, crouched on a high branch of a tree, was a boy with piercing yellow eyes; his pupils pointed to a sliver.

"Two trespassers in my domain."

"Are you the one controlling these vines?" I demanded.

"No," the newcomer stood up, "they're working of their own accord, that is, to catch intruders."

I tried kicking but the vines held strong. I could only give him a heated glare. "Let us go."

The boy leapt off the branch and landed on a vine-tangled platform right in front of me giving me a clear view of his long, black braided hair, elfin ears, nails sharpened to a spike, and two white fangs peering through curved lips. He wore a dark pale green tank top, pale brown shorts; a pair of what looked liked red biker gloves on his hands, red tube socks on his feet, and a red bandana around his forehead.

His pointed teeth gleamed in the sunlight. "Why should I? You guys were the ones who intruded on my territory."

"We didn't mean it!" Takao inputted. "Your forest was the only place where we could land from above."

"You guys came from the sky?" The boy narrowed his eyes and extended his claws. "That's pretty smart of you, but I won't let you escape. You will be punished for attempting to burn my trees."

"Burn your trees? What are you talking about?" Now I'm totally lost. This guy is nuts.

"You!" He pointed a claw straight at me. "You have the scent of cinder wood and fire! You're obviously from the volcanic region where the Black Phoenix resides. I bet you're one of the causes of the forest fires in the east."

"Black Phoenix? I don't know of this 'Black Phoenix' and I don't have any intentions of burning down your pathetic trees."

"Pathetic trees?" A vein popped out on the side of the feline boy's forehead.

"Now, now uhehe…" Takao smiled nervously, "He didn't mean that really and we truly don't know what you're talking about. We aren't associated with the Black Phoenix in anyway so please let us go."

The boy crouched down on the vines and stared at the odd couple before him. "I can't trust you guys…"

"Look," I finally spoke up since I was sick of being hanged in the air like a doll, "I just want to get out of these woods so if you want, you can lead us out and you can keep an eye on us and make sure none of hurt your trees or plants or whatever you like. This way, we'll be out of the woods and you won't have intruders in your territory. It's a win-win situation. Deal?"

The cat boy stared at us for another minute as if contemplating something in his head before speaking, "Well, you guys don't look harmful. I guess I can trust you just this once."

The vines lowered us to the ground, loosening its grip at the same time and when we finally touched soil, the vines slid back into the dirt from whence it came.

Takao floated back in air and twirled three times, "It's good to be free!"

The feline boy hopped off the vine platform and landed swiftly a meter before me. "The name's Rei. I'll lead you to the edge of the wood, but if you guys do anything suspicious, I'll have my plants squeeze the life out of you before you can even scream."

I stared at the fist Rei was holding in his left hand. This was just great. First I was caught on a floating cotton ball and met up with Peter Pan, and then I had to fall into a Venus vine trap and get stuck with Jungle Boy.

"Why… why am I still dreaming?" I fisted my hair with both hands, staring at nothing. I don't know where I am, I don't know where I'm going; I don't know anything anymore.

A warm hand lightly held my shoulder. "Hey, are you okay?"

I shrugged it off. "Leave me alone."

"This way!" Rei waved an arm from beside a spruce-like tree.

Even as I stumbled towards my new 'companion', I heard a whisper from behind me, _"I won't."_

And I stared up at the dimming sky. Stars were beginning to peak through the transparent cotton clouds even though it was still so light out.


	4. Darkness

Scattered Heart Ch.4: Darkness

Rukiabi: At last another chapter out. Please enjoy.

Disclaimer: All characters of Beyblade are © of Aoki Takao.

- - - - - - - - -

It was so dark that the length of the trees had become like prison bars, cold and unrelenting. There didn't seem to be an end to the wood. I was tired. But I could only continue trudging on, snapping small pieces of ripped bark and fallen branches in half under my dead weight steps and feel the space in front of me for something to hold onto, yet reaching for nothing. Sometimes I would slip on some dead leaves, moist from decomposition on the forest floor. And when I would grasp a hold of one of those thick rough pillars, it was like running my hand down a sheet of sandpaper, my skin feeling raw and exposed.

Sometimes, once every six to seven steps, I would imagine a silk scarf behind me trying to grasp a hold of my hand. Like as if I were being stalked by a ghost. I could almost hear it, the soft silent breathing of the spectre. And the hairs on the back of my neck would tingle from the steam of a far off express train. I truly wished that that train would be here right now to take me home, a bit like that story of a boy who opened his front door to find a Polar Express ready to take him to see the Clause. And in that train, the boy would be served hot chocolate with marshmallows as he looked out the window watching the snowy mountains and woods pass by. But this isn't a children's picture book and I don't truly want to go home. Would there be hot chocolate and marshmallows waiting for me on the kitchen counter at home? Would my parents embrace me with loving arms, surrounding me with the warmth of a blanket and fireplace during Christmas Eve and we'd all be a family again? It's all a lie; I'm a horrible liar.

Every now and then, I would pause in mid-step, wondering whether my next step would touch level ground or fall deeper into a ditch. I would fall, just like in that last step. The ground would come speeding up to me just like in that last dream but instead of feeling the darkness slam into my whole existence, I would pass through the tiled ground and be free falling like a droplet of spit towards splotches of snow white paint splattered across a sky blue canvas.

"It's not far."

I couldn't see the figure of the wild tiger through the darkness of the woods but the pairs of golden feline irises staring down on me from above, like a hunter cornering his prey, told me the relative location of my escort. They stared down on me fiercely.

"I can smell the ocean. It's just up ahead."

Just up ahead were long dark stripes before an even darker backdrop. Darkness just like what I've been seeing since the past five hours. Is darkness all that I can see?

"He's right."

Takao flew down from behind the thick covering of black petals, the dead canopy of the woods.

The ocean doesn't fly but as if answering my thoughts, he said, "The ocean is reflected through the sky."

I thought 'yeah right' even as I unconsciously tilted my head up to stare through the lightning fault between the leaves of two large oak like trees. My eyes widened at the sight of aquamarine waves. Long fingers of sea grass tickled the cotton swab-like clouds through an ever-shifting mirror of slate grey.

And my jaw fell slightly as I forgot for a moment my disregard of the boy behind me.

"The sky and the sea aren't very different. Just like how deep in the sky there are stars, deep in the ocean there are sea stars. They are the same."

When I turned my attention onto him, I saw the reflection of thousands of shimmering suns from galaxies far away. He has a whole universe within him with undiscovered corners and hidden planets.

"Who are you?"

"It's Takao remember?"

"That's not what I mean… never mind."

Why did I bother in the first place? Wasn't I ignoring that that… the word 'freak' came up to mind but I couldn't bring myself to think it for it wasn't what I truly wanted to say. With a floating boy haunting me and a half tiger beast as my tour guide, who was the real freak in the middle? Not to mention the whacked out world with solid clouds that one can stand on and forests that cut off all light from the outside world completely.

I'm Alice in Horrorland.

Rei leapt off the thick scaly tree branch and landed in front of me.

"The beach is just beyond those trees but we should camp out here tonight."

I took a couple of steps back, making sure to distance myself from him.

"Why?"

"There are shadows…"

His pupils narrowed so that they resembled the cracks of light barely able to stream through the tall restricting trees.

"At night they come out and patrol the sands, looking to feed on any that find their way out of the woods. The light of the sun will dissipate their bodies but until then, we should stay clear of the shore."

"Right, of course."

He would know since it's his world after all. I might as well sit down in resignation and…

And all of a sudden the darkness began to shift so that the world before me was tilting like black and white marbles bouncing and rolling off a wooden board. My legs gave way underneath me and I felt myself falling slowly backwards… into his arms.

"I've got you," the ghostly breath whispered into my ear, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, don't touch me…"

I shrugged out of his hold but my knees wouldn't hold in place and I found myself kneeling on wet leaves and earth. Why couldn't I stand? Could I possibly be… tired?

"We've been walking through these woods for quite some time. You might as well get some rest. I'll keep on a lookout."

Rei disappeared through the canopy.

It was stupid and it was frustrating. I can't move. That's what I've been feeling since I came to this world: immobility. I'm not actually moving, I'm just dreaming. Somewhere outside this surreal world is my still body. Somewhere could be my dead body… oh god.

"I must be dead."

The breath seemed to come out of my lips like misted ice.

Not even two cups of hot chocolate could warm the recesses of my heart, but I could just feel two hands against the glass cage outside of it.

"You're not dead. You're just tired."

The two hands pressed my shoulders lightly.

"I'll help you! First let's sit by this tree."

I let the blunette bring one of my arms around his neck and carry me to a tree. There wasn't much I could do nor say in the matter. My body was a lifeless doll. He sat us down in between two uplifted roots of a large tree with black moss crawling up its trunk.

"There. We should be okay here until morning."

Silence. But he began.

"You know, I've only ever seen the sea from afar? From the clouds, the ocean is just another piece of land but coloured blue. I can't wait to see it up close. And I wonder what kinds of creatures we'll see by it."

And more silence. But he continued.

"I certainly don't want to meet those shadow things that Rei mentioned before. Oh! But I do wonder what they look like. Maybe they have huge sharp teeth that can chomp down on your body and eat you alive!!"

He covered his face in mock fear.

"That would be so freaky!"

There seemed to be an ever growing weight on my eyelids as he continued to drone on. My body felt warmed being beside him and I didn't care anymore.

"_Say, what's your name?"_

"_It's… Kai…"_

"_Kai… I like your name."_

And the darkness continued.

- - - - - - - - -

"Look Kai."

The awakening star, from between thin cracks in the woods, reached for the couple leaning against the grizzled tree with long stretching fingers of warm light.

"It's morning," Takao smiled, "Kai?"

But the dual-toned haired boy couldn't hear. His light breathing was blanketed by slumber as his head was pillowed against an angel's warm shoulder.


	5. Beach

Scattered Heart Ch.5: Beach

Rukiabi: I truly wish to finish my Syndicate Ch.4 but I can't seem to write it right now. That and I'm having an easier time with Scattered Heart so here is another chapter. This one resembles more closely to the style of my first chapter, not only that it's about twice as long as my last chapter woo!

Disclaimer: All characters of Beyblade are © of Aoki Takao.

- - - - - - - - -

Waves bark and lap playfully at the sand. The sands are the masters and the waves are the dogs, always moving back and forth for the master, only for them.

I watched all of those young girls and boys my age scream with glee, jumping into the shallow pools, splashing each other with accumulated tears from age-old mountain sides. They all played together under the sun far from the pale scrawny little worm that was me, I, who hid myself from all of the radiating smiles that threatened to burn a hole into the day permanently.

("The sands are grains of memory that slip past the grasping fingers and are lost forever.")

"_Why aren't you out there playing with the other kids?"_

"_Because the sun's too hot. My skin will burn."_

"_Well, that's no excuse. Didn't you bring any suntan lotion?"_

"_No."_

"_Well then you only have yourself to blame don't you?"_

"_But—"_

"_No buts."_

And the teacher took his foot out from the shade of my umbrella and chased the sun into the sea. He let the self-luminous heavenly body with its hot voluptuous hands rub rays of zeal and complacency all over his body. He wasn't afraid of the burns.

But—

And I watched them play in the distance. Even the adults laughed. They all left for the warmth. I am the cold; I am the rock that will sit under the dirt darkness sent from the umbrella. It doesn't shield me from light but creates a space of darkness.

But—my father refused to buy suntan lotion saying that it was a waste of money.

He told me_, "Boy why don't you get out in the sun more? It'll do that pale skin of yours good."_

"_But father, I need suntan lotion in order to go out in the sun."_

"_Who said you that need that crap? You'll tan faster without all the chemicals on your skin."_

But I only wished he said that. What he truly spoke of was how I could _"continue to haunt the house"_ because I wasn't _"going anywhere."_

"_I'm not paying for field trips to happy homes."_

"_Father, my class is just going to a Marine Museum and the beach. We're going to have a test on what we've seen the next day. I have to go—"_

"_You stupid kid!"_

He slammed down the half empty bottle of scotch. He was so drunk.

Its okay, I didn't really want to go anyway. I knew that if I were to go, I'd be stuck here in the hole. But mother, she smiled at me through her red eyes and cried to me through her dry lips, _"Honey I love you, I love you, I just want you to do your best, don't let school get you down. Please, please… baby I love you."_

And she hugged me tightly into her warm bosom. Yet I felt so cold there. I'm her baby. I was eight years old and her only memory of a first love, of a deep love, of a love gone wrong.

"_You look so much like him, like the one I loved. It must have left him when we were together and all those feelings were passed on to you."_

Now the one you love is no longer and I was the one who took it all away.

"_Bitch, where the hell were you?"_

"_I was out. Is it not alright to be out of the house every now and then?"_

"_No. You can't leave the house just as you please like as if you own it, and with my car--"_

"_Your car?? That's our car!"_

Father would blow a dark smoky trail of cigarette ash and death.

"_This is why… this is why..."_

And mother would coke on her own tears.

It was entirely my fault. Because I was born, their happiness was shattered. I took away the affection in my father's eyes and gave distressfulness in my mother's. Maybe in the beginning it would have been all fine but it was me—I did it.

"_I love you, I love you, I do…"_

But if you do then why do you cry? I make you cry. I make all those around me unhappy.

The truth must be that she never loved me at all. She was forced to love me from the augmenting pressures of a mother. She really is a very kind mother but I claimed her sense of responsibility and ruined her. She must love me, her dilapidated child.

"_I love you honey."_

_She will love me until she dies,_

"_I hate you bastard kid!"_

"_Oh my god, what have you done to your own son?"_

"_That's no son of mine. That's an alien product of a whore!"_

"_Do you not know what your own reflection looks like?!?!"_

My reflection looked like that of a boy with a large purple bruise on his right cheek. The boy with the clean left cheek had gone up to the nice male teacher his mother was fond of and said hello.

That nice teacher had turned his back on him and said goodbye. He left for the other, more deserving children in the sun. Leave the outcast behind.

Father, my not-so-loving father,

I want suntan lotion. Can I have some please? Of course he answered no with a fist.

So I sat under the umbrella with my head in my arms, attempting to shield my eyes from the glowing light of a thousand smiles. I just wanted to be protected. I just wanted suntan lotion to shield me from the warmth of my mother's embrace and from the scintillations of happier sons around me.

Please.

_Kai?_

I looked up from my arms but nobody was there. All the other eight year olds were in the water splashing each other with laughter.

Can I borrow some suntan lotion?

No, I never asked convincing myself that I needed to protect myself from those others. But behind the curtains told a tale of how they never would have lent suntan lotion to me in the first place. They never even knew my name.

"Kai?"

The waves lap towards my feet, tickling the rubber tips of my shoes. Will I continue to sit here as immobile as a beached whale waiting for the sands of time to bury me in death? I'm not a little boy anymore but I'm still weak. I'm still trying very hard to protect what little of myself I can stand.

I wanted to take off my shoes and feel the heated grainy sand between my toes but I can't trust it. The sand that slips between my fingers like the memories of years gone by, how am I to know that it won't slip straight from underneath my unprotected feet so that I will fall into nothingness?

Oh wait, I'm already—"Kai!"

"What is it?!"

"Oh." Takao had a look of surprise, but it was accompanied with an open smile of joy and relief. Apparently my snapping at him had a reverse effect.

"You responded to me."

I turned back towards the oceanic view in front of me, determined more than ever now to cast out the white shadow from behind me.

His body levitated over my head. "What are you doing?"

I'm waiting for the sea to swallow me whole.

"Hey!" Rei called from over a sand dune.

"It looks like Rei's found a way across the sea." He held out a hand, "Let's go."

"Hmm." I got up without accepting his offer.

After trudging over remnants of weathered rocks, we found Rei squatting over rows of washed up seaweed.

"I have an idea. Since I have the ability to speak with all plantae life, I can create a bridge of sea grass for us to cross to the other side by asking for their assistance."

"Are you coming with us Rei?"

There was a silence that seemed to accompany a knowing, melancholy smile on the tiniest upturn of his lips.

"I have an old friend on the other side of the sea. One night when the Western wind was blowing strong, the tide had fallen so low that it revealed a bridge of stone one could cross to the other side. He was a fool to have fallen victim to his curiosity and since the tides fell back in place, I havn't seen him since."

"Even though we're already at the edge of the woods, you're still going to help us. That's great Rei, thanks!" Takao turned to me, "Isn't that great Kai?"

Scoff. I could care less. I could care less for this world; I could care less for the people because in the end it must be a dream so why am I bothering to go anywhere in the first place?

"It's fun to travel with friends. When one travels, they can learn so much from the environment but when one also travels with friends, you can travel for ever because you'd never be alone."

Alone… I'm destined to be alone.

"Okay guys," Rei kneeled on one leg and raised his arms out on either side of him, "stand back."

A few minutes passed as the air around the tiger tensed to electrifying waves. Unseen energy seemed to be building up in his arms and in one moment, his eyes lit up in a fiery release and his arms shot into the ground clawing deep into wet sand.

Waves pulsed underneath our feet and the washed up seaweed became alive. They wriggled through the sand, threading through one weed and another, entangling into the waters and tying into the seaweed on the seafloor. Before our eyes, a bridge of wet slimy sea grass emerged from the waters.

Rei exhaled in satisfaction. "There. Now we can finally move forward."

I took a step onto the newly formed bridge.

"Be careful, the grass is still wet so it's slippery." Rei moved past me. "And I should take the lead since the bridge is still in the making. As we continue to move forward, more of the bridge will be built in front of us."

I couldn't hold Rei's golden gaze so I turned away. "Yeah…" I don't even want to try with the stalker.

So we left our tracks in the sand for the crossing ahead of us. With Rei in the lead, me in the middle and the ghost behind me again, we walked.

With each foreign step I wonder, what am I attempting to achieve. I can't possibly believe that finding those feathers will actually solve the mystery as to what I'm here for. But I could feel the pinch, the needle-like woodchips, and the sandpaper trunks of the trees. I even became tired and slept in the forest. Why? If this were a dream, I wouldn't or shouldn't have felt the pain, felt the strength leave my body and mind. But (staring at my hands) I am weak that way.

_"…A physical pain. It shows that you're alive."_

"You don't have to add to the pain, Kai."

_"…same as the pain on the inside?"_

I almost tripped when I heard his words. Why does he…? How come he always affects me in this way? It's the words that can chill me and yet bring radiance at the same time. It's all I can do to avoid it. I can't face it.

Pretending to take in my surroundings, I made a quick glance at Takao. Who is he? And… why do I want to know?

Rei stopped in his tracks and the bridge ceased forming. "Let's take a break. We've been walking for a while."

We had trekked for about what seemed to be an hour and the beach that we left was but an inlet to a giant green croissant, extending along the horizon with no end. The waters out in the middle of the sea were as calm and still as glass. It was creepy.

Kneeling down on the green path, I could see between the flat vines and past the shadowed surface of the water onto tiny schools of fish swimming past. There was life behind the stilled boundary where air met water.

"I've only ever seen the sea from above the clouds but it truly is very different when looked up close, wow…"

Plop.

"Hnn?" Takao did an about face in mid-air. "Is someone there?"

He floated close to the surface of the water so that his nose barely touched it.

"There's no one there. It's just your imagination." Rei, who didn't even have to see to know what Takao was doing, called from his cross-legged position a little ways in front of me. He seemed to be meditating.

"Yeah but, I just have this feeling…"

I turned onto the reflection of myself. A dual tone haired boy with crimson red eyes and pale white skin stared back at me. I'm so ugly. I waved the image away with my hands and brought them back up cupping water. I can even feel the cool wetness of the sea. This water feels very different from normal water. When releasing the clear blue entity, it runs between my fingers like liquid pearls, slow and smooth. And then from under the shadow of my hands, I noticed a yellow…?

Yellow grass slowly grew out of the water, not disturbing the surface at the least.

And then a head popped up.

"Wha…?"

I found myself staring into a set of aquamarine eyes.

"Hey. You look interesting. Wanna have some fun?"

The freckled boy then took both my hands and pulled me into the water.

"Wha--grghhh!!"

Gasp! "Kai!" Takao turned towards me but it was too late.

I could only scream out bubbles as I was being pulled deeper and deeper into the water by a chain on one of my hands. With my other I reached for the light beyond the sea blue surface. Within the light was a figure, calling out to me.

_Kai!! Kaiiii!!!_

I can't hear him but…

And the light began to fade, everything began to fade into darkness.

…but I'm still reaching!!

_Save me…Save me, _

_Takao!!_


End file.
